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Humpin Hash  Every Sunday afternoon.   Sunday, July 6, 2014 2:00pm
HUMPIN' AMERICA XX: America In Wonderland
Hare(s): Captain Jerk, Anal Rose, Mommy's Dirty Dildo, C3PonMyself, and GI Ho
Location: Corner of Tamarack(N) and Foothill Ave, Carlsbad, 92010
Directions: Take 78 to College Blvd and go south. Go left at light on Tamarack(N), go 3 blocks to Foothill Ave, turn left, and park near the park that borders Tamarack, Foothill, and StonerIdge.

Note that if you take the Tamarack exit from I-5, you will be on an all-day adventure following Tamarack in all 365 degrees of its rotation as it meanders through most of Carlsbad. You see, some absolutely f'n bloody brilliant city planner thought it would be fun to make Tamarack wind all over the f'n place. It actually crosses College Blvd twice. How nice.

The only Tamarack that shall matter to you is the one with the sign that says Tamarack(N). I suppose that means it's the most northern of the Tamaracked streets.
Google Maps:
Run Fee: $6
Pre-lube: SDH3, Captain Jerk's house, GI Ho's house, the AR/MDD/C3P cummunity pool, Valley Forge... it just matters that there is one.
Trail type: A to B
On after: Probably G-Spot in 92008. Or Valley Forge.
Dog friendly: Yes
We the People of the Humpin' Hash, in Order to form a more perfect On-On, distribute Justice, insure domestic Fear and Loathing, provide for the common Offence, promote you being on Welfare, and to secure the Blessings of G to yourselves and your Posterior, do ordain and establish this Holiday Weekend Worthy Trail.

Humpin' is proud to declare its independence from the trivial and the boring, and bring you, in the twentieth year of its existence, Humpin' America XX.

You shall need one flashlight if by land, and two if by shiggy.

You shall need dry shoes for a comfortable ending, and perhaps a hand towel.

Five shall be the approximate mileage. Four shall be the number of beer checks. And fifty paces shall deliver you to America's Wonderland.

We hold these truths to be self evident: That All Trails Are Not Created Equal.

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